Out with the old and in with the...old?

Do you really want to read about all things wedding planning for weeks and weeks and weeks? I didn't think so. I'll think about it and pick out the craziest stories from our wedding planning adventure. Until then, we're going back to the same old updates and my witty banter of the past. Well, something like that, anyway.

Oh, quit complaining. You're just going to have to deal with it. I promise I'll try to keep things as interesting as possible (I have always enjoyed a good challenge).

So - here's a recap of the past few weeks:

Thanksgiving

Because we had a four day weekend, David and I decided to head home for the Thanksgiving weekend. I mean, really, who can resist four days of delicious food? I know I can't.

My family was first on the list and, as always, they never disappoint.

I also had a chance to run over to Mom and Chuck's store. I hadn't seen it since they decorated for Christmas, and let me tell you, it is BE-A-UTIFUL! If you have a chance to run over to Chestnut to do some Christmas shopping, make sure you take it.

Finally.

Apologies. I feel like life has been crazy with Thanksgiving and some new work developments. So crazy, in fact, I just haven't had the time to finish up this last entry. I know you all were waiting with breathless anticipation.

Ok, maybe not. Whatever.

Anyway. Flash forward five years. Scoop and I have settled into our routine as a couple and are, decidedly, perfect for each other. Still, I was fairly certain Scoop was waiting for hell to freeze over before asking me that very important question. I mean, we were both close to graduating and taking jobs and moving to Tanzania. Okay, maybe not Tanzania. But, it might as well be that far away -  there was no telling where each of us might end up if we didn't make a decision to go somewhere together.

Needless to say, I was pretty anxious (and honestly, if you haven't figured that out by now, you should go to a different Web site).

What I didn't know is that Scoop was busy scheming. He had been talking to my friends about rings and had even asked my sister and mom if he could marry me. But, Annie Oakely, the ever observant, didn't know about any of this.

Then, one night he upped my anxiousness by doing his best to throw me off the trail. We sat on the couch in his basement and argued for an hour about what we were going do. I made the case for getting married - there was no reason to be apart, right?

But Scoop, trying to be sensible, thought it would be a much better idea to wait five or six years - at least until the two of us had good jobs and had made enough money to live comfortably.

But what if we settled into jobs 3000 miles apart, I asked?

Of course, he had an answer for that. We could just live together. That way we wouldn't have twice the expenses.

Didn't he remember I was an old-fashioned girl that came from an old-fashioned family? There was no way that Grandma Shirley was going to go for that idea. Forget Grandma Shirley - there was no way The General (my mom) was going to go for that idea.

Scoop said we just shouldn't worry about it. He wanted to make sure we had the best start to our lives together as possible and was just positive that waiting a few years before getting engaged was a better idea.

I was just sure he was wrong, but there was nothing more I could do. Well, nothing more I could do short of dumping the guy - and that would just be stupid. I decided I would just have to get used to the fact that Scoop was moving at his own pace and his pace was a snail's pace. There was nothing I could do.

What I didn't know was there was a beautiful, princess-cut diamond engagement ring sitting in his dad's sock drawer one floor up. Told you he was sneaky.

The following weekend, Scoop's mother had scheduled family pictures. Of course, Scoop wanted me to be a part of said pictures, but again, I protested. Being an old-fashioned girl, I reminded Scoop I couldn't be in any family pictures until I was actually a part of the family (or at least had a ring on my finger and would soon be a member of the family).

After a lot of whining and pleading wtih me to join the family pictures, Scoop finally accepted my answer of "No," but asked that I come home for the weekend anyway. All of his sisters would be home and it would be nice for everyone to be together.

I couldn't argue with that, so, that Friday, I pointed my car West and hit the road.

Friday night, I arrived in our hometown and met Scoop at his mom's office. Scoop had made plans for the two of us, my cousin and my sister to meet at the local Mexican restaurant for supper. Even though it was surprising (because Scoop didn't like Mexican food), I didn't think much of it.

Finally, at the appointed hour, Scoop dialed my cousin to make sure he was ready to go and on his way to the restaurant. Despite Scoop's careful planning (at least that's what I thought), Boots had just gotten out of the shower and wasn't quite ready to go.

"No problem," Scoop said. Instead, he offered to drive over to my family's car dealership while we waited. We often "cruised the lot" to look at new cars, so - again - I didn't think anything of it. Besides, there was a silver Monte Carlo I really wanted to check out.

We got to the dealership and started down the first aisle. Scoop stopped at the silver Monte Carlo because he said he wanted to get out and look at it (of course, this was fine by me). I hopped out of the car with him, checked out the interior of the Monte and turned to go back to Scoop's car. Hey - it was October and I was cold.

And that's when it happened.

"Hey - wait a minute. I have a question of you."

I wheeled around to find out Scoop wanted to know. By the time I got myself turned around, there was Scoop, facing me, with that beautiful, princess-cut diamond ring in his outstretched hand.

The only thing I could get to escape my lips was exceedingly eloquent: "Ohhh my GOD. OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD! Wait, are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Of course. OF COURSE I'M GOING TO MARRY YOU!"

He didn't even get the question out. He handed the ring to me and, in my excitement, I dropped it on the ground. After quickly bending down and grabbing the ring, we were back in the car and headed back to Scoop's house.

Of course, dinner at the Mexican restaurant had been one big story to get me out to the dealership. Instead, we were headed back to his house to attend the engagment party that his family had planned for us.

And, the next day, I made my first appearance in Scoop's family pictures.

And, I was happy. Well, that is until the wedding planning started.

Letting Go (Again) and Hanging On.

Truth be told, I probably started "waiting" for that very important question a few months after Scoop and I started dating. I was head over heels and it certainly didn't take me five years to figure that out.

But, because we were (well, probably "are" - but only under certain circumstances) both sensible people, we spent lots of quality time together to make sure it was right.

I spent time with Scoop at basketball games and family events, and he even came out to my house to help with chores - or even help out at my many horse shows.

In fact, not too long after we started dating, Scoop met up with me at the 4-H fairgrounds. I was showing in my very last 4-H horse show, so Scoop came out to watch me.

It just so happens that I was running late for my showmanship class. And, even with my two aunts back at the trailer to help get me ready, I was till running behind. So, I threw my horse's lead at Scoop and said, "Here - hang on to him."

"But, I don't know anything about horses."

"Don't worry about it. I've just got to black his feet before this class. All you have to do is hold the lead. He's not going to go anywhere - he wouldn't even hurt a fly."

Famous last words.

The next thing I know, my horse has two feet off the ground and Scoop is still desperately trying to hang on to the lead. Upon his return to the ground, my horse connected - connected one of his feet with Scoop's forehead, that is.

I couldn't believe it. This was totally uncharacteristic for this horse - and it certainly couldn't be good for my relationship with Scoop. After looking at the hoofprint just above his eye, he assured me that he would be just fine...after he went to the concession stand and got some ice.

That was it. I knew he would be done with this crazy farm girl. And, if he wasn't, his mother certainly would be. She hadn't nursed her little boy back to health when he was a baby just to see some crazy farm girl use her livestock to beat up on him. It was over, I was sure of it.

After the show was over, I headed back to Scoop's house and apologized - for at least three hours - for my horse's ridiculous behavior and for almost killing this guy that I was totally crazy about. And, if Scoop's mom was angry, she hid it well.

Still, I felt terrible about it for weeks. And, even though Scoop liked to give me a good ribbing about it, he forgave me and went on with his sweet, thoughtful ideas and actions to make me even more attached to him.

And, boy was he good at it. By the time we were juniors in college, Scoop and I were attending school three hours away from each other. But, that didn't stop him from driving over to my sorority in the middle of the week to surprise me after I had just gotten back from two weeks in Europe.

He had a knack for giving excellent gifts and surprised me with CDs of songs that made him think of me. Everything was going well, but one thing always nagged at me.

Car Guy.

Things ended badly. And, while I didn't feel like it was even close to a quarter my fault, I still felt bad.

Then, one day I got a surprising email. It was from Car Guy. He sent it to Scoop, too, and just wanted to say that  he was sorry for everything that had happened. He knew he acted badly and wanted to make amends. In fact, he had started dating a girl that he really liked - and he was really happy.

I sent him an email back to let him know that I was sorry, too, and that I was happy he had found a girl that suited him better than I ever could have.

And, with that, it was finally over. And, I could finally let go, for good, and start hanging on to the one thing that I knew I wanted:

That very important question.

Just when you thought it was over...

Contrary to popular belief, that last post was not the end to our story. C'mon, people, I haven't even gotten to the marriage proposal yet.

In all honesty, the first few weeks of our relationship are, arguably, the most eventful. At least in terms of the amount of drama we had to deal with.

After dating only a few weeks, I found myself back on the road. As a state officer, one of my duties was to travel from school to school with the section officers and talk to high school ag classes about agriculture education and FFA. One night, after a long day of visits, my cell phone rang.

Car Guy called every so often just to chat. Looking back now, I think he probably was keeping tabs, but I didn't realize it at the time.

"So, how are you? How's the FFA thing?"

"It's fine. I'm on the road right now - but, it's still a lot of fun. How's school?"

"It's okay." Then, he couldn't wait any longer... "So, you seeing anyone?"

"Um, yeah. Scoop and I have been out on a few dates."

"Oh. That's good. I've been kind of seeing this girl here at school."

(I know, we have a real gift for eloquence and flowery language.)

After a few more random questions, we ended our conversation and I felt relieved. Obviously, if Car Guy had moved on and was seeing someone at school, he was over it and I was in the clear (not that I would have cared, seeing as how I thought we had ended things a month ago when I said I didn't want to get back together after school. But, that's beside the point).

A few weeks later, Scoop and I were both home again for the weekend. It just happened to be a big weekend for our small town - the weekend the town holds a HUGE festival - so, it seemed everyone we went to school with was back home, too.

While I was walking around and visiting my high school FFA chapter's food tent, I got a call from Scoop. To make a long, shocking conversation short, he informed me that Car Guy was home, had found out that we were dating, as was out for blood.

Yes, you read that right. He "found out" that we were dating - even though I had told him two weeks earlier. Apparently, he didn't believe me the first time. Either that, or I was speaking German. I suppose we'll never know.

Anyway, Car Guy was ready for a fight. Luckily for me, I never saw Car Guy that weekend. But, I was fortunate enough to hear what he was only to happy to pass along to anyone that would listen.

Apparently, I was a terrible, horrible woman that cheated on him with one of his good friends. Uh-huh. And, Scoop was an awful person, too, because he had stolen Car Guy's girlfriend. Yep.

Needless to say, this is when the, ahem, excuse me, shit hit the fan.

Friends took sides. And, people that heard all of this through the grapevine couldn't get to me fast enough to tell me about everything that was circulating.

Now, if you know me - or Scoop, for that matter - you know that drama is the last thing either one of us are interested in. We're both laid back, easy-going people who would rather sit on our couch and watch TV together than go out on dates or socialize with big groups of people.

Still, this matter needed to be dealt with. I was not about to be labeled a cheater - or even take the fall for this one. Perhaps I should have laid it all out in plain English a little better, but I wasn't the only one with indescretions, let's say.

Finally, after I had let myself cool down for about a week, I picked up the phone and called Car Guy to lay this to rest once and for all.

"Hello?"

"It's me. We need to talk."

**Click**

Well, obviously, this was going to go well. I waited a few minutes to see if he would get over himself and call me back. Sure enough...

"Sorry. I dropped the phone."

"I bet you did."

"I'm sorry. I'm just really angry."

"You're angry? You've been telling everyone that I cheated on you. I told you that David and I had gone out. If anyone get's to be angry, it's me. I didn't say anything to anyone about what happened while we were dating. You lied to me." I'm paraphrasing here. A very select few know what happened, and beyond that, no one else needs to know the exact details of what happened.

"I didn't lie to you, I just didn't tell you." (Let me tell you, of all the things people have ever said to me, regardless of whether it was a friend, acquaintance or boyfriend, this is my most favorite statement ever. Ever. EVER.).

"Ok. Whatever. It doesn't matter. This just needs to stop. I'm tired of hearing about all this - it's over. You're dating someone else and so am I."

After that conversation, I didn't speak to Car Guy for a good three years. Obviously, things hadn't ended as smoothly as I had originally thought they would and I was in no mood to negotiate or pour salt on old wounds.

And, letting go must have worked, because (minus a few disagreements here and there) Scoop and rolled right through the next five years of our relationship. In the blink of an eye, Scoop had transferred to a new school, I was attending college a few hours away, and we were seniors ready to graduate.

And, I was desperately waiting for Scoop to pop a very big question.

Dive-bombing butterflies and red-hot cheeks. Again.

Does it count as a date if you don't show up together? I don't think it matters.

I drove home from Springfield the next weekend to meet Scoop at the football game. Before I headed to the game, I stopped at home to drop off my stuff (okay, yes, it was my laundry for my mom) and grab some warm clothes to guard against the chilly fall night.

Just as I was ready to walk out the door, my mom said, "Didn't you just get home? Where are you headed to now?"

"Well, I'm going to the football game. I'm going to meet Scoop there and then go back to his house afterward."

My mom was used to me going to games with Scoop, but wasn't used to me going to his house afterward. Plus, she knew that Car Guy and I had officially ended things months ago.

"So, is this football game just a football game, or is it more of a date?"

"Well, I guess it's more of a date. I mean, several of my friends will be there, too, but I'm going specifically to meet Scoop."

"And, why would you decide to make a date with someone when you're going to be gone and traveling nearly all year?"

I knew she had a good point. But, I also knew that something just felt different about Scoop. He and I were already such good friends. And, it wasn't like I planned for this to happen.

"Mom - I know, but he asked me and said he would do everything he could to see me when we're both home. It's not like I decided I wanted to start another relationship right away - this just happened."

And, before she could say anything else to dampen my mood, I high-tailed it out the door (yep - I just said "high-tailed". I'm impressive).

The closer I got to town, the more nervous I got. I didn't remember being this nervous when Scoop asked me out. Heck, I didn't even remember being this nervous when I ran for a state office. Luckily for me, the first person I saw at the game was my best friend, Betsy (and, no, I'm not sure why she's the only person in this story without a nickname).

After the usual pleasantries, I dropped the bomb.

"So, I'm kind of here with someone."

"WHAT? WHO?"

"Well, Scoop asked me out last week. We've been talking all week and I'm really excited about this..."

Betsy quickly released me to go find my date and Scoop and I spent the rest of the evening talking with friends and watching the game. Then, we headed back to his house.

This was the moment of truth, the point of no return. If he kissed me tonight - and there was no spark - or, worse, later on down the road we just decided we weren't right for each other, it would be certain death for our friendship. I mean, really, when a relationship ends, people say they want to stay friends, but it never works that way (a lesson I was about to learn the hard way).

Was I ready to put that on the line? I loved hanging out with Scoop. We had spent so much time together during our senior year in high school and if things went south, that would all be gone.

But, before I could even complete that thought, we were sitting very close to each other on the couch and watching a movie. Too late now.

We watched movies. We talked. Then, he walked me to my car and we said goodnight - without a goodnight kiss.

Perhaps Scoop was worried about the same thing I was. Would our shot at a relationship ruin a perfectly good friendship?

He must have decided it wasn't worth worrying about by our third date, though, because during our exciting night of more moving watching, he laid one on me.

Whoa. There go those dive-bombing butterflies again. And those red cheeks. You would think - as a dark-complected, dark-haired woman, red cheeks wouldn't be so apparent. You would think that, but you would be wrong. Oh well, I've gotten used to it. Because, I still get dive-bombing butterflies and red-hot cheeks every time Scoop gives me a peck on the cheek.

I was a total goner. I still am.

And, that's it. The end. We lived happilly ever after and all of our friends were so happy for us, they sang and threw rose petals.

Ok, not so much.

Starting rumors...again.

One night, while Scoop and I were having our usual instant message conversation, Scoop guided me into a familiar topic.

(Scoop - I know you're going to read this and you'll have to forgive me. I'm sure I don't have this conversation verbatim. And, even though we have this saved somewhere, I can't find it. Sorry.)

"So, I just got off the phone with Car Guy. He wanted to know if I think we'll get back together after school."

"And?"

"I told him no. He got really upset because I guess he thought we would always get back together. But, I feel so much better after telling him "no" and ending it completely. I feel bad, too, but after we broke up, I realized I didn't want to be with him anymore."

Scoop and I always joked around with each other. And, since we had started a rumor that we were dating in high school, I felt like the next most logical follow-up was this:

"So, when are you going to get me that ring?"

"Oh, I'll get one eventually. Actually, I have a picture of you on my bulletin board. I hope you don't mind - I keep telling everyone that you're my wife."

(If there was a place for foreshadowing music, this would be the place.)

"Go for it. We could start another rumor."

"Would you like that?"

"Huh? Like what?" Suddenly, I knew exactly where this was going. I felt like I had been hit by a Mack Truck, but in a good way.

"Well, it wouldn't have to be a rumor."

"What do you mean?"

"What if we were dating?"

*******SILENCE***********

"You're never going to see me. I'm going to be gone all the time. Are you sure you want to do that?"

"I'll come home on the weekends and we can see each other then. And, I can drive to Springfield to see you. We'll make it work."

How could I say no to a guy that was already committed to making things work? We were living three hours apart, and before I could even say yes, he was telling me that he would make it work.

"I would like that." Whoa. Dive-bombing butterflies were attacking my stomach. I stared at the computer screen in disbelief as to what had just happened. And, I was desperately wishing I had a couple of bags of frozen peas to help tone down the red, burning hot cheeks that were taking over my face.

"Wow. You don't know how much better I feel to have that off my chest. I didn't think you would say 'yes'."

And, then he spilled. Boots had been right. Scoop had wanted to take me on a date for a long time. He had wanted to ask me out the night we went out for pizza, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it because he thought my answer would be "no."

He had spilled everything about me to his new roommate, too, and the only reason that he asked me out this time was because of his roommate. Apparently, his roommate threatened to hijack Scoop's computer and ask me out for himself if Scoop didn't get his butt in gear and do it.

In fact, it seemed like everyone and their dog knew that Scoop had a thing for me - everyone except for me. Hey, I can't say that I've ever been too observant. Even Scoop's best friend said, "Finally. It's about time."

We talked for a long time that night. We talked about Car Guy - and some of the things that I found out about after our relationship ended - and we talked about our respective moments when we realized that we might just make a good couple.

Finally, before we signed off and went to bed, we compared calendars and realized we would both be home the next weekend. We decided to meet up at a football game at our high school for our very first date.

A seed is planted...

After hours of speeches in front of thousands of people, I was finally elected to a state FFA office. I was so excited to have the opportunity to spend the next year of my life traveling to school across the state.

And, even though it was a little bittersweet to leave the 'comfort' of a relationship, my FFA adventure gave me a chance to leave Car Guy and strike out on my own. Well, aside from the four boys that had also become state officers and, subsequently, my new big brothers.

Despite my busy travel schedule, I still tried to find time to go home. As a state officer, I lived in a hotel. I missed my bed at home, the horses and the smell of the farm. Every weekend I could, I went home to spend time with my family and friends.

Then, one weekend shortly after I was elected, I got a message from Scoop. The summer was almost over and he was getting ready to head to school. This would be his last weekend home and he wanted to know if I wanted to go out for pizza and watch a movie at his house.

Since most of my friends had already moved to school - or were busy getting ready to - I was game for a night out with a friend.

When I got home, my cousin, Boots, was there helping with chores (I know what you're thinking, "Wow. Just when I thought her nicknames couldn't get any worse..." Truth is, this is his real nickname). My dad had died just a few months earlier, so our house had become a regular Grand Central Station with people coming over to help with any manner of work that needed to be done. Despite his lack of experience with horses, Boots had become a regular fixture at our house during chore time. And, I loved it. Boots and I were in the same class, so we spent a lot of time together and were - well, still are really - very close friends.

I parked my car and headed toward the fenceline to help Boots feed the horses.

"Hey, Rach. What are you up to tonight? Want to grab a bite to eat?"

"Sorry - I can't. Scoop asked me to go out for pizza with him. It's his last weekend at home before he moves to school, so we figured we would live it up." (Oh yeah, growing up in a small, rural town made all of us kids really exciting.)

"Ahhhhh. Sure."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Seriously? C'mon. You know he likes you."

"You have got to be kidding. He does not - we're just good friends."

"Um, no. He's liked you since the beginning of senior year. I know it."

"You're wrong."

In order to keep your boredom at bay, I'll stop here and just tell you this went on for a while. I continued to deny it, and Boots just kept telling me it was true.

I didn't really believe it, but you know how these things go: Boots had planted the seed and now I couldn't get it out of my head. Did Scoop really have a thing for me? Surely not. Why would he be interested in me, anyway? There was nothing remarkable about me and it certainly wasn't because of convenience. I was traveling all year and he was going to school three hours away.

I headed out for Scoop's house with all of these crazy thoughts swimming in my head. Needless to say, the evening was a little awkward - something that neither of us was very accustomed to. In all of the time that we had been friends, it had never been awkward. Or, maybe I just felt awkward knowing what Boots had told me.

Still, we went out for pizza and enjoyed each other's company. We spent a long time chatting in the booth - about everything going on. About what my new job as State FFA Reporter meant. What he was going to study in school. What we were going to miss about high school - okay, that list was pretty short, but whatever.

After we finished up our pizza, we decided to head back to Scoop's house to watch a movie. During our many conversations, he learned that I had never seen several of the classics - including Animal House.

Because of the craziness that Boots had planted in my head, I went to Scoop's house sure that he was planning on asking me out - and I had no idea what I was going to answer to that if he actually did. It didn't seem to make sense to start a relationship out long distance. But, I figured, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it - he still hadn't asked me.

We got to Scoop's house, put in Animal House, plopped down on the couch and spent the rest of our evening watching laughing at John Belushi. "Toga! Toga! Toga!" (Sorry, I had to). Just before the movie was over, Scoop's mom came home and chatted with us. We watched some TV and, before I knew it, it was time to go home.

Scoop walked me to my car and promised to talk to me online and email me to keep in touch. I hopped in my Dad's old Buick Park Avenue and headed home - without any kind of future date in the works.

Obviously, Boots had been totally wrong. Scoop had no romantic interest in me whatsoever - I mean, he hadn't made a move. And, I thought to myself, that was probably a good thing since we wouldn't ever be able to see each other anyway. Right?

Scoop stayed true to his word and emailed and sent instant messages to me on a regular basis. He told me about his roommate and his classes and about how much he hated the school he was attending. I told him about the crazy boys on my officer team and about how much fun I was having two months into my time as a state officer.

Then, one night, Scoop asked me a familiar question - one that he had asked me before.