Maybe...

Maybe, just maybe, Monday, I went out to eat with a colleague and magazine editor. Then, maybe right after our food arrived, I got up to go the bathroom and just before I reached the door, the floor moved. 

Ok, maybe the floor didn't move. Maybe it was just a little bit slippery and my feet didn't do what they were supposed to. Maybe, my heels slipped right out from under me and maybe, just maybe, I started to fall. And, maybe, when I fell, I used my hand to break my fall. And, maybe I had to go to the emergency room after work and have an x-ray taken. And, maybe the doctor told me I fractured the radial head in my right elbow.

Maybe.

What, you think that story is true? What kind of person do you think I am? You obviously don't know me that well.

Or, maybe you do.

Yes, that's right kids. Rachel "Crash Test Dummy" Torbert is back. I hadn't broken any bones for quite some time - seven years, in fact, as my husband was all too eager to remind me - so, I suppose I was about due for some kind of freak accident.

But, here I am with a broken elbow. A broken RIGHT elbow. Need I remind you that I'm right handed and I write things for a living? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG IT HAS TAKEN ME TO HUNT-AND-PECK TYPE THIS BLOG POST WITH MY LEFT HAND?

A REALLY, REALLY LONG TIME.

Who falls in a restaurant and breaks something? I mean, I don't even have any cool story to go with it.

"How did you do that?"

"Oh, you know, Hulk Hogan was givin' me a hard time so I slugged him...or, I fell."

Hulk Hogan or not, I'm in a sling for at least four weeks - because they can't put a cast on my arm - and I'm supposed to be icing and not using my crazy, swollen, purple elbow. Trust me, it's fun.

You know what else if fun? Trying to put a bra on. In fact, I'm going to leave you with that visual. Hopefully, with that thought in your head, you'll end up being as miserable as I am.