Sometimes it's just hard.

I could spend my time tonight dazzling you all with my political commentary (and I have plenty to say about yesterday's election), but instead, I'm going to go in a different direction.

Those of you that follow my blog or know me personally know that the past few months of this year have been a little challenging. A close friend of mine lost his father this year; another friend was in a serious car accident and nearly lost her life. Sometimes, it's just hard.

Five years ago, I lost my father for no reason at all. Actually, I'm sure God had a reason. Maybe he was just being selfish. I mean, my dad was pretty cool, who wouldn't want to spend time with him? But still, it doesn't seem fair.

He's been gone five years and still, sometimes it's just hard. This past weekend, while David and I were driving home from Nebraska, I looked out the window and noticed how clear the night sky was. I looked up and saw the beautiful stars and all of the contellations and remembered my dad.

On summer nights when I was little, if the sky was clear, Dad and I would sit outside and he would say, "Do you see it? There's the big dipper and there's the little dipper. Can you point them out? Where are they, Rach?"

As I was sitting in that car, looking out the window at the stars, I couldn't stop myself from crying. I cried the rest of the way home - I just couldn't stop. Sometimes it's just hard.

But, I think that's the way it's supposed to be. We don't like it. In fact, most of the time, we resent the tough times. Instead, we should embrace them and try to learn from them. I'm guilty of it too; we look at the small picture but forget that it's only part of the big picture.

Next weekend, I'll stand before God, family and friends and say my wedding vows to a man I love very much. And, while that makes me happy when I think about it (and happier than I have been in five years), there will be one seat noticeably empty in the church. Of course, I know he'll be there, but I still don't think it's fair.

Sometimes it's just hard. Sometimes it's not fair. All of the time, that's life. And life is what you make of it.