Letting Go (Again) and Hanging On.

Truth be told, I probably started "waiting" for that very important question a few months after Scoop and I started dating. I was head over heels and it certainly didn't take me five years to figure that out.

But, because we were (well, probably "are" - but only under certain circumstances) both sensible people, we spent lots of quality time together to make sure it was right.

I spent time with Scoop at basketball games and family events, and he even came out to my house to help with chores - or even help out at my many horse shows.

In fact, not too long after we started dating, Scoop met up with me at the 4-H fairgrounds. I was showing in my very last 4-H horse show, so Scoop came out to watch me.

It just so happens that I was running late for my showmanship class. And, even with my two aunts back at the trailer to help get me ready, I was till running behind. So, I threw my horse's lead at Scoop and said, "Here - hang on to him."

"But, I don't know anything about horses."

"Don't worry about it. I've just got to black his feet before this class. All you have to do is hold the lead. He's not going to go anywhere - he wouldn't even hurt a fly."

Famous last words.

The next thing I know, my horse has two feet off the ground and Scoop is still desperately trying to hang on to the lead. Upon his return to the ground, my horse connected - connected one of his feet with Scoop's forehead, that is.

I couldn't believe it. This was totally uncharacteristic for this horse - and it certainly couldn't be good for my relationship with Scoop. After looking at the hoofprint just above his eye, he assured me that he would be just fine...after he went to the concession stand and got some ice.

That was it. I knew he would be done with this crazy farm girl. And, if he wasn't, his mother certainly would be. She hadn't nursed her little boy back to health when he was a baby just to see some crazy farm girl use her livestock to beat up on him. It was over, I was sure of it.

After the show was over, I headed back to Scoop's house and apologized - for at least three hours - for my horse's ridiculous behavior and for almost killing this guy that I was totally crazy about. And, if Scoop's mom was angry, she hid it well.

Still, I felt terrible about it for weeks. And, even though Scoop liked to give me a good ribbing about it, he forgave me and went on with his sweet, thoughtful ideas and actions to make me even more attached to him.

And, boy was he good at it. By the time we were juniors in college, Scoop and I were attending school three hours away from each other. But, that didn't stop him from driving over to my sorority in the middle of the week to surprise me after I had just gotten back from two weeks in Europe.

He had a knack for giving excellent gifts and surprised me with CDs of songs that made him think of me. Everything was going well, but one thing always nagged at me.

Car Guy.

Things ended badly. And, while I didn't feel like it was even close to a quarter my fault, I still felt bad.

Then, one day I got a surprising email. It was from Car Guy. He sent it to Scoop, too, and just wanted to say that  he was sorry for everything that had happened. He knew he acted badly and wanted to make amends. In fact, he had started dating a girl that he really liked - and he was really happy.

I sent him an email back to let him know that I was sorry, too, and that I was happy he had found a girl that suited him better than I ever could have.

And, with that, it was finally over. And, I could finally let go, for good, and start hanging on to the one thing that I knew I wanted:

That very important question.

Just when you thought it was over...

Contrary to popular belief, that last post was not the end to our story. C'mon, people, I haven't even gotten to the marriage proposal yet.

In all honesty, the first few weeks of our relationship are, arguably, the most eventful. At least in terms of the amount of drama we had to deal with.

After dating only a few weeks, I found myself back on the road. As a state officer, one of my duties was to travel from school to school with the section officers and talk to high school ag classes about agriculture education and FFA. One night, after a long day of visits, my cell phone rang.

Car Guy called every so often just to chat. Looking back now, I think he probably was keeping tabs, but I didn't realize it at the time.

"So, how are you? How's the FFA thing?"

"It's fine. I'm on the road right now - but, it's still a lot of fun. How's school?"

"It's okay." Then, he couldn't wait any longer... "So, you seeing anyone?"

"Um, yeah. Scoop and I have been out on a few dates."

"Oh. That's good. I've been kind of seeing this girl here at school."

(I know, we have a real gift for eloquence and flowery language.)

After a few more random questions, we ended our conversation and I felt relieved. Obviously, if Car Guy had moved on and was seeing someone at school, he was over it and I was in the clear (not that I would have cared, seeing as how I thought we had ended things a month ago when I said I didn't want to get back together after school. But, that's beside the point).

A few weeks later, Scoop and I were both home again for the weekend. It just happened to be a big weekend for our small town - the weekend the town holds a HUGE festival - so, it seemed everyone we went to school with was back home, too.

While I was walking around and visiting my high school FFA chapter's food tent, I got a call from Scoop. To make a long, shocking conversation short, he informed me that Car Guy was home, had found out that we were dating, as was out for blood.

Yes, you read that right. He "found out" that we were dating - even though I had told him two weeks earlier. Apparently, he didn't believe me the first time. Either that, or I was speaking German. I suppose we'll never know.

Anyway, Car Guy was ready for a fight. Luckily for me, I never saw Car Guy that weekend. But, I was fortunate enough to hear what he was only to happy to pass along to anyone that would listen.

Apparently, I was a terrible, horrible woman that cheated on him with one of his good friends. Uh-huh. And, Scoop was an awful person, too, because he had stolen Car Guy's girlfriend. Yep.

Needless to say, this is when the, ahem, excuse me, shit hit the fan.

Friends took sides. And, people that heard all of this through the grapevine couldn't get to me fast enough to tell me about everything that was circulating.

Now, if you know me - or Scoop, for that matter - you know that drama is the last thing either one of us are interested in. We're both laid back, easy-going people who would rather sit on our couch and watch TV together than go out on dates or socialize with big groups of people.

Still, this matter needed to be dealt with. I was not about to be labeled a cheater - or even take the fall for this one. Perhaps I should have laid it all out in plain English a little better, but I wasn't the only one with indescretions, let's say.

Finally, after I had let myself cool down for about a week, I picked up the phone and called Car Guy to lay this to rest once and for all.

"Hello?"

"It's me. We need to talk."

**Click**

Well, obviously, this was going to go well. I waited a few minutes to see if he would get over himself and call me back. Sure enough...

"Sorry. I dropped the phone."

"I bet you did."

"I'm sorry. I'm just really angry."

"You're angry? You've been telling everyone that I cheated on you. I told you that David and I had gone out. If anyone get's to be angry, it's me. I didn't say anything to anyone about what happened while we were dating. You lied to me." I'm paraphrasing here. A very select few know what happened, and beyond that, no one else needs to know the exact details of what happened.

"I didn't lie to you, I just didn't tell you." (Let me tell you, of all the things people have ever said to me, regardless of whether it was a friend, acquaintance or boyfriend, this is my most favorite statement ever. Ever. EVER.).

"Ok. Whatever. It doesn't matter. This just needs to stop. I'm tired of hearing about all this - it's over. You're dating someone else and so am I."

After that conversation, I didn't speak to Car Guy for a good three years. Obviously, things hadn't ended as smoothly as I had originally thought they would and I was in no mood to negotiate or pour salt on old wounds.

And, letting go must have worked, because (minus a few disagreements here and there) Scoop and rolled right through the next five years of our relationship. In the blink of an eye, Scoop had transferred to a new school, I was attending college a few hours away, and we were seniors ready to graduate.

And, I was desperately waiting for Scoop to pop a very big question.

Dive-bombing butterflies and red-hot cheeks. Again.

Does it count as a date if you don't show up together? I don't think it matters.

I drove home from Springfield the next weekend to meet Scoop at the football game. Before I headed to the game, I stopped at home to drop off my stuff (okay, yes, it was my laundry for my mom) and grab some warm clothes to guard against the chilly fall night.

Just as I was ready to walk out the door, my mom said, "Didn't you just get home? Where are you headed to now?"

"Well, I'm going to the football game. I'm going to meet Scoop there and then go back to his house afterward."

My mom was used to me going to games with Scoop, but wasn't used to me going to his house afterward. Plus, she knew that Car Guy and I had officially ended things months ago.

"So, is this football game just a football game, or is it more of a date?"

"Well, I guess it's more of a date. I mean, several of my friends will be there, too, but I'm going specifically to meet Scoop."

"And, why would you decide to make a date with someone when you're going to be gone and traveling nearly all year?"

I knew she had a good point. But, I also knew that something just felt different about Scoop. He and I were already such good friends. And, it wasn't like I planned for this to happen.

"Mom - I know, but he asked me and said he would do everything he could to see me when we're both home. It's not like I decided I wanted to start another relationship right away - this just happened."

And, before she could say anything else to dampen my mood, I high-tailed it out the door (yep - I just said "high-tailed". I'm impressive).

The closer I got to town, the more nervous I got. I didn't remember being this nervous when Scoop asked me out. Heck, I didn't even remember being this nervous when I ran for a state office. Luckily for me, the first person I saw at the game was my best friend, Betsy (and, no, I'm not sure why she's the only person in this story without a nickname).

After the usual pleasantries, I dropped the bomb.

"So, I'm kind of here with someone."

"WHAT? WHO?"

"Well, Scoop asked me out last week. We've been talking all week and I'm really excited about this..."

Betsy quickly released me to go find my date and Scoop and I spent the rest of the evening talking with friends and watching the game. Then, we headed back to his house.

This was the moment of truth, the point of no return. If he kissed me tonight - and there was no spark - or, worse, later on down the road we just decided we weren't right for each other, it would be certain death for our friendship. I mean, really, when a relationship ends, people say they want to stay friends, but it never works that way (a lesson I was about to learn the hard way).

Was I ready to put that on the line? I loved hanging out with Scoop. We had spent so much time together during our senior year in high school and if things went south, that would all be gone.

But, before I could even complete that thought, we were sitting very close to each other on the couch and watching a movie. Too late now.

We watched movies. We talked. Then, he walked me to my car and we said goodnight - without a goodnight kiss.

Perhaps Scoop was worried about the same thing I was. Would our shot at a relationship ruin a perfectly good friendship?

He must have decided it wasn't worth worrying about by our third date, though, because during our exciting night of more moving watching, he laid one on me.

Whoa. There go those dive-bombing butterflies again. And those red cheeks. You would think - as a dark-complected, dark-haired woman, red cheeks wouldn't be so apparent. You would think that, but you would be wrong. Oh well, I've gotten used to it. Because, I still get dive-bombing butterflies and red-hot cheeks every time Scoop gives me a peck on the cheek.

I was a total goner. I still am.

And, that's it. The end. We lived happilly ever after and all of our friends were so happy for us, they sang and threw rose petals.

Ok, not so much.

Starting rumors...again.

One night, while Scoop and I were having our usual instant message conversation, Scoop guided me into a familiar topic.

(Scoop - I know you're going to read this and you'll have to forgive me. I'm sure I don't have this conversation verbatim. And, even though we have this saved somewhere, I can't find it. Sorry.)

"So, I just got off the phone with Car Guy. He wanted to know if I think we'll get back together after school."

"And?"

"I told him no. He got really upset because I guess he thought we would always get back together. But, I feel so much better after telling him "no" and ending it completely. I feel bad, too, but after we broke up, I realized I didn't want to be with him anymore."

Scoop and I always joked around with each other. And, since we had started a rumor that we were dating in high school, I felt like the next most logical follow-up was this:

"So, when are you going to get me that ring?"

"Oh, I'll get one eventually. Actually, I have a picture of you on my bulletin board. I hope you don't mind - I keep telling everyone that you're my wife."

(If there was a place for foreshadowing music, this would be the place.)

"Go for it. We could start another rumor."

"Would you like that?"

"Huh? Like what?" Suddenly, I knew exactly where this was going. I felt like I had been hit by a Mack Truck, but in a good way.

"Well, it wouldn't have to be a rumor."

"What do you mean?"

"What if we were dating?"

*******SILENCE***********

"You're never going to see me. I'm going to be gone all the time. Are you sure you want to do that?"

"I'll come home on the weekends and we can see each other then. And, I can drive to Springfield to see you. We'll make it work."

How could I say no to a guy that was already committed to making things work? We were living three hours apart, and before I could even say yes, he was telling me that he would make it work.

"I would like that." Whoa. Dive-bombing butterflies were attacking my stomach. I stared at the computer screen in disbelief as to what had just happened. And, I was desperately wishing I had a couple of bags of frozen peas to help tone down the red, burning hot cheeks that were taking over my face.

"Wow. You don't know how much better I feel to have that off my chest. I didn't think you would say 'yes'."

And, then he spilled. Boots had been right. Scoop had wanted to take me on a date for a long time. He had wanted to ask me out the night we went out for pizza, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it because he thought my answer would be "no."

He had spilled everything about me to his new roommate, too, and the only reason that he asked me out this time was because of his roommate. Apparently, his roommate threatened to hijack Scoop's computer and ask me out for himself if Scoop didn't get his butt in gear and do it.

In fact, it seemed like everyone and their dog knew that Scoop had a thing for me - everyone except for me. Hey, I can't say that I've ever been too observant. Even Scoop's best friend said, "Finally. It's about time."

We talked for a long time that night. We talked about Car Guy - and some of the things that I found out about after our relationship ended - and we talked about our respective moments when we realized that we might just make a good couple.

Finally, before we signed off and went to bed, we compared calendars and realized we would both be home the next weekend. We decided to meet up at a football game at our high school for our very first date.

A seed is planted...

After hours of speeches in front of thousands of people, I was finally elected to a state FFA office. I was so excited to have the opportunity to spend the next year of my life traveling to school across the state.

And, even though it was a little bittersweet to leave the 'comfort' of a relationship, my FFA adventure gave me a chance to leave Car Guy and strike out on my own. Well, aside from the four boys that had also become state officers and, subsequently, my new big brothers.

Despite my busy travel schedule, I still tried to find time to go home. As a state officer, I lived in a hotel. I missed my bed at home, the horses and the smell of the farm. Every weekend I could, I went home to spend time with my family and friends.

Then, one weekend shortly after I was elected, I got a message from Scoop. The summer was almost over and he was getting ready to head to school. This would be his last weekend home and he wanted to know if I wanted to go out for pizza and watch a movie at his house.

Since most of my friends had already moved to school - or were busy getting ready to - I was game for a night out with a friend.

When I got home, my cousin, Boots, was there helping with chores (I know what you're thinking, "Wow. Just when I thought her nicknames couldn't get any worse..." Truth is, this is his real nickname). My dad had died just a few months earlier, so our house had become a regular Grand Central Station with people coming over to help with any manner of work that needed to be done. Despite his lack of experience with horses, Boots had become a regular fixture at our house during chore time. And, I loved it. Boots and I were in the same class, so we spent a lot of time together and were - well, still are really - very close friends.

I parked my car and headed toward the fenceline to help Boots feed the horses.

"Hey, Rach. What are you up to tonight? Want to grab a bite to eat?"

"Sorry - I can't. Scoop asked me to go out for pizza with him. It's his last weekend at home before he moves to school, so we figured we would live it up." (Oh yeah, growing up in a small, rural town made all of us kids really exciting.)

"Ahhhhh. Sure."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Seriously? C'mon. You know he likes you."

"You have got to be kidding. He does not - we're just good friends."

"Um, no. He's liked you since the beginning of senior year. I know it."

"You're wrong."

In order to keep your boredom at bay, I'll stop here and just tell you this went on for a while. I continued to deny it, and Boots just kept telling me it was true.

I didn't really believe it, but you know how these things go: Boots had planted the seed and now I couldn't get it out of my head. Did Scoop really have a thing for me? Surely not. Why would he be interested in me, anyway? There was nothing remarkable about me and it certainly wasn't because of convenience. I was traveling all year and he was going to school three hours away.

I headed out for Scoop's house with all of these crazy thoughts swimming in my head. Needless to say, the evening was a little awkward - something that neither of us was very accustomed to. In all of the time that we had been friends, it had never been awkward. Or, maybe I just felt awkward knowing what Boots had told me.

Still, we went out for pizza and enjoyed each other's company. We spent a long time chatting in the booth - about everything going on. About what my new job as State FFA Reporter meant. What he was going to study in school. What we were going to miss about high school - okay, that list was pretty short, but whatever.

After we finished up our pizza, we decided to head back to Scoop's house to watch a movie. During our many conversations, he learned that I had never seen several of the classics - including Animal House.

Because of the craziness that Boots had planted in my head, I went to Scoop's house sure that he was planning on asking me out - and I had no idea what I was going to answer to that if he actually did. It didn't seem to make sense to start a relationship out long distance. But, I figured, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it - he still hadn't asked me.

We got to Scoop's house, put in Animal House, plopped down on the couch and spent the rest of our evening watching laughing at John Belushi. "Toga! Toga! Toga!" (Sorry, I had to). Just before the movie was over, Scoop's mom came home and chatted with us. We watched some TV and, before I knew it, it was time to go home.

Scoop walked me to my car and promised to talk to me online and email me to keep in touch. I hopped in my Dad's old Buick Park Avenue and headed home - without any kind of future date in the works.

Obviously, Boots had been totally wrong. Scoop had no romantic interest in me whatsoever - I mean, he hadn't made a move. And, I thought to myself, that was probably a good thing since we wouldn't ever be able to see each other anyway. Right?

Scoop stayed true to his word and emailed and sent instant messages to me on a regular basis. He told me about his roommate and his classes and about how much he hated the school he was attending. I told him about the crazy boys on my officer team and about how much fun I was having two months into my time as a state officer.

Then, one night, Scoop asked me a familiar question - one that he had asked me before.

Annie Oakley and Scoop Jackson: Best Friends?

Hey, stop thinking what you're thinking. Car Guy and I were still an item and I'm no cheater.

Still, Scoop and I spent a lot of time together near the end of our senior year. He was a sports writer for the local paper, so he was always at the area high school games. And, since we both enjoyed sports, we enjoyed each other's company.

Together, with the larger group of friends we had in common, we always met up at basketball games to cheer on the home team - or at least heckle the referees. We even went to a few away games together - I would sit in the stands and watch the game while Scoop took notes and pictures for the paper.

After one of our high school's away games, Scoop and I stopped at Steak N Shake for a little bit of dinner. Shortly after we sat down and ordered, our high school's fan bus stopped at the same Steak N Shake for a bite to eat.

Scoop and I sat in our own little booth with several of our high school friends and acquaintances surrounding us in the restaurant. Being that we got there first, we finished our meals first and got ready to head out the door. Then, Scoop had an idea.

"Hey. You want to try a little experiment?"

"Sure. What do you have in mind?"

"Let's just see if we can start a rumor at school tomorrow. I'll get up and pay for dinner - you just stay here at the booth."

"Um, okay....." At this point, I had no idea what kind of experiement we were working on.

"Seriously. Then, I'll come back to the booth, put a tip down on the table and we can leave. You get up first and I'll escort you out the door. Then, tomorrow, we'll just see how many people want to know if we're dating."

I was still dating Car Guy, but since we were all friends, I knew he would be okay with it. Plus, I would have a chance to let him in on our little experiment during our nightly ritual of talking on the phone.

Sure enough, the next day at school everyone was buzzing about how I was out to dinner with Scoop and not Car Guy. As I was sitting in the commons before the first bell rang (Scoop, Car Guy and I - and several of our friends - always chewed the fat of a morning before the first bell rang. What can I say, I grew up in a farming town and that's what people do), a girl I knew ran up to me and said, "Hey...um, so, are you and Car Guy still together?"

"Well, sure. Why?" I had to giggle.

"Well, we were just curious. We saw you last night with Scoop."

"Yeah. I know. We're friends and we went to the same basketball game you did. Then, we were hungry."

Scoop was right. We had started a rumor. And, luckily for me, both Scoop and Car Guy thought it was exceedingly funny.

And, that's how it went. Scoop and I were the best of friends and I continued to date Car Guy - even though I knew the end of the school year would require some tough decisions be made.

And, I wasn't wrong. I had spent my senior year as the Section 16 FFA President - and, after having made it through the selection process, I had plans of running for a state FFA office. If things went as I hoped they would, I would get elected and spend the next year of my life not in college, but traveling the state with the other four state officers, teaching high school kids about FFA and agriculture.

On the other hand, Car Guy had plans of his own. He was headed to Indianapolis for school. I knew we would never see each other. I would be on the road constantly and he would be hours away in a big city.

The time had come.

We talked it over and came to a mutual agreement: it was time to end things. Much to my surprise, we ended things amicably. He knew that we would both be meeting new people and doing new things and it would just be easier for both of us if we made a clean break.

We continued to spend time together right up until I was elected to a state FFA office in June. In fact, Car Guy even came to the elections to support me.

So did Scoop.

Taking the long way home.

Thinking about it now, it's easy to see that Car Guy and I didn't have a whole lot in common. He liked horsepower and I liked the originals with four legs. He grew up in town and cruised the square, while I grew up on the farm, cruised the fence line in my old pickup, and wasn't allowed to go to basketball or football games until the horses were fed. But, then again, Car Guy didn't like basketball or football anyway.

Still, he was my first real boyfriend. I just couldn't get over the fact that Car Guy - or any guy, for that matter - would be interested in me. 

Despite the fact that we didn't have anything in common, our relationship moved along smoothly for the first few months of freshman year. Then, like any good high school romance, we broke up. The funny thing is, I can't remember why we broke up, or who did the breaking, but we did. I found a date for the upcoming Sweetheart Dance and we stayed away from each other for a few months.

Then the talking started again. The crazy thing is, I don't ever remember having that much to say.

Still, the talking started again. Talking lead to hanging out at lunch. And, hanging out at lunch lead to dating. Again.

So, there we were, a couple again at the beginning of sophomore year. And, for the most part, the next few years weren't too eventful in the relationship of Annie Oakley and Car Guy. We went out to eat, went to dances and we made out on the couch. And, we made out on the couch. And, well you get the picture.

Give me a break, it was a high school romance.

As we rolled into senior year of high school, however, things became more complicated. Car Guy started blowing me off on a regular basis (I assumed he had some four-wheeled romance on the side and I later found out I was right, except for the fact that it had two legs instead of four wheels) and I was left finding new ways to entertain myself. Still, I enjoyed my time with Car Guy and, every so often, entertained thoughts of us being together forever.

Then, Car Guy lowered the boom. Just before our senior homecoming, he ended our four-year courtship. Of course, I was devastated. Not only did my boyfriend of so many years dump me for no reason, but I also didn't have a date for the rapidly approaching homecoming dance.

Noticing a pattern here? I really have a problem with dances. Probably, because I'm a tomboy and don't like wearing dresses unless I'm wearing them for someone specific. Whatever.

********************************************************************************************************************

Little did I know, Scoop had just broken up with his flame, too. Car Guy and I saw Scoop on a regular basis at school - and sometimes, we even drove out to Scoop's house for movies and his mom's famous cheeseburgers. But, we weren't close enough for me to be in the loop concerning his love life. 

I also didn't know that Scoop was entertaining the idea of asking me to the homecoming dance. He had known that Car Guy was planning to fly the coop and, being the gentleman that he is, thought about rescuing me.

Unfortunately for Scoop - and me - he had already agreed to go to homecoming with his most recent ex-girlfriend. And, Car Guy had decided to pity me and take me to homecoming, "because he promised to before we broke up."

(I know, this stuff is deep.)

********************************************************************************************************************

The night of the homecoming dance finally rolled around and Car Guy drove out to the boonies (also known as my house) to pick me up. Seeing as he had recently broken my heart, I was in no mood for talking or showing any kindness toward the former object of my affections. But, Car Guy showed up at the door with a bouquet of flowers and some ridiculous apology.

It worked. I was happy and my dad took pictures.

We headed back to the high school as a couple and finished our senior year that way. But, like many high school romances, things were never the same. I started to notice the little ways that we didn't work as a couple. And, when my dad died just before we graduated, Car Guy showed up to comfort me. However, when I saw him walk through the emergency room doors, I ended up more annoyed and angry at his presence than anything else.

Still, we stayed together until the end of our senior year. We still spent time together, but we also spent time apart. He had a new four-wheeled love interest and I decided that I would exercise my love of sports by attending all of the high school basketball games without Car Guy in tow.

You know who also loved sports? That's right.

Annie Oakley meets Scoop Jackson - for real.

We had met before. He was, after all, in my chorus class - remember?

But, those early meetings were just glances across the room from the soprano section (which totally didn't fit me at all) to the alto section. Several glances, in fact. C'mon, I had to see what Chicago Bulls t-shirt he had in store for me each day.

Anyway, my best friend, Betsy, and I arrived at our destination fashionably late (okay, there was nothing fashionable about me, but that's beside the point) and met up with her date - we'll call him Car Guy - for the evening. Each time a slow song would come on, I would mingle with friends or take my designated seat on the "no date to dance with" bleachers.

Near the end of the evening, I had joined Betsy and Car Guy on the dance floor during one of the faster songs. We were probably talking about cars - because, as his namesake would imply, Car Guy really liked cars - when another slow song came on.

Great. I started to make my way back to the bleachers when Car Guy grabbed my arm and shoved me toward one of his friends. I mean, who doesn't like being pitied?

And there was Scoop. He didn't have anyone to dance with either, so Car Guy thought it would be nice for us to dance together. And, it was nice to have someone to dance with - even if he was quite a bit shorter than I was.

Since our last encounter in chorus a year ago, his bowl hair cut had been replaced with a much more up-to-date hair cut and his normal, Chicago Bulls t-shirts had been replaced with a shirt and tie. Nice.

In fact, he was nice all around. Nice to talk to. Nicely dressed. And, nice to me.

So, we danced. At least, we considered it dancing even though we barely had the guts to touch each other and we stood far enough away that the former President Harry Truman could have dropped another atomic bomb - this time between us - and it wouldn't have harmed a hair on our cute little junior high heads.

I would like to say that I was sold right then and there, but I wasn't. It's not that I didn't like him, it's just that we only talked the length of a slow song - the very last slow song, as fate would have it - and that's all the farther things went.

Betsy and I left the dance with her resigned that she would not date Car Guy with and me resigned that boys were short, stupid and I would never go to another dance again - unless I had a date.

The next dance in my junior high career just happened to be the eighth grade graduation dance and it turns out I would have a date - but, it wasn't Scoop. My date turned out to be Car Guy.

After Betsy decided that Car Guy wasn't the guy for her, we spent quite a bit of time together. He needed to talk to someone about how much he liked my best friend and I - well who knows what I wanted. As I look back at it all now, I think I was just flattered that a boy wanted to talk to cowboy-boots-clad, horse-t-shirt-wearing me.

Either way, we ended up going to a dance together. He was just as tall as I was. He talked about cars - which didn't bother me since I grew up at my family's car dealership (I'm sure that little tid bit didn't bother him, either) and I talked about...well, who the hell knows.

We ended up talking on the phone most of the subsequent summer months. And, we ended up dating beginning our freshman year of high school. In fact, we ended up dating the next four years of high school. There were fights and there were break-ups. We got back together and went to dances. We were best couple our senior year, for Heaven's sake. But, more on that later.

Anyway, seeing that Scoop and Car Guy (I know - I really have a knack for coming up with creative, fake names) were friends, I also saw a lot of Scoop the next four years of my life. More on that later, too.

Annie Oakley

Oh God, oh God, oh God....What was I thinking?

No, wait - what was my Mom thinking? I'm blaming her for this catastrophe.

I hated junior high. And, not in the, "Man, I wish I didn't have to go to school today" kind of way. It was more like, if I could have gotten away with faking sick every day for three years, I would have.

Seriously.

In grade school, there are popular kids, but they haven't reached that cosmic level of being too good to speak to the other kids yet. We still went to the same parties, talked to the same people and played the same games in recess.

Then, in the three short months of summer vacation between fifth grade and sixth grade, the popular kids acquired this magical quality of superiority and the not-so-popular kids - of which I was a card-carrying member - somehow became even less cool.

Of course, cowboy boots and horse t-shirts have that magical "I'm totally lame" quality about them, I suppose.

Now, I'm not saying that everyone that ran in the popular crowd was a terrible, mean-spirited person because that's just not true. But, there were a select few that really enjoyed cracking jokes at my expense.

Anyway, the point I'm getting at is this: with my membership in the way-too-lame-to-function-club paid in full for three years, by the time I thought I might like to hang out or go to a dance with a boy, it just wasn't going to happen.

I did go to a few junior high dances, but most of the time I went stag with my other girlfriends and when the slow songs came on, I did what any logical, junior high girl would do: I sat on the bleachers by myself.

Then, near the end of my eighth grade year, I went to a dance with my best friend. A boy we both knew casually really wanted to date her (you know, hold hands in the hallways and pass notes in class - that kind of dating), and he was going to be there.

Not being one to pass up my fair share of awkwardness, '90s music (C'mon ride the train...) and bad hair, I signed on as her reluctant wingman - or woman. I put on my favorite and most un-lame dress that I owned and headed off, not knowing that this would be my second encounter with Scoop.

Until next time...