Back at it...

I'm not even going to try to come up with a good excuse.
Ok. Yes I am.

• Really - I've been super busy. Seriously.
• I forgot.
• Okay, I didn't forget - I just didn't want to spend the time required to sit down and write.
• I can't figure out how to put this last Fabulous Foursome entry together.
• My dog ate it.
• Wait, I don't have a dog. Scoop ate it?

In any case, it's time for me to get back on the wagon and get this ol' blog rolling again. Before diving into something new, let's finish off the old, shall we?

In case you have forgotten, I have these friends. There are three of them. They're all different. And, they're all hilarious.

I've been trying to find the best way to pull all of this tegether. I started with posts of each member of the Fabulous Four and intended to tie it all together in one (or two) final posts about us as a group. Or mob, depending on who you ask.

After a month and a half of thinking (it really has been in the back of my mind, I promise), I still don't have a good answer. I could tell you stories. Oh, could I tell you stories. And, I could give you some pretty funny quotes (they would pretty much go along with the stories), but I don't know if that's the best way to do this either.

But, it doesn't matter. That's what I'm going to do.

The first time I remember thinking of the four of us as a crazy mob, or force taking over the space around us, was when we first lived together at 4-H House. It was the first time we all had a chance to live with the people of our choosing, rather than living with an older girl in the house. And, trust me, we took advantage of that.

Our room was right next to a room with three seniors living in it. Three fun seniors. I mean, they really knew how to have a good time.

We knew how to have a better time.

I know this because, one night as we all were dancing, and probably yelling, in our room, they started beating on the walls to quiet us down. Eventually, they had to come over and ask us to be quiet. Which scared us because, if you're busy dancing and twirling and yelling, the chances of you noticing someone walking into your room are pretty slim.

Scared or not, that wasn't the only night there was dancing and yelling our room. Somehow, living together brought out the best in each of us. It also brought out the "funny" in each of us (at least I think so).

• "It's too bad we can't vote someone off the island. I'm pretty sure she'd be the first one. We wouldn't even need to use paper - we could just say 'I.'" - Skitter
• "How many Mexicans have you seen in the White House?" - BK
• "I'm going to the kitchen to get a knife to peel this bitch." - Baum
• "If we lose someone, it better be a lazy ass." - Lock
• "Do you like having big boobs?" - BK
• "I have a salad dance!" - Baum
• "I was thinking of becoming a whore. Starting tonight." - Lock
• "I just laid in your bed and rolled around in it." - Skitter
• "I'm wearing your deodorant Rachel Baum. I just thought you should know." - Lock
• "At least if you're fat, you're not a slut. But, I'm sure there are some fat sluts. Slutty fat people." - Lock
• "Wow. I look like a lesbian." - Baum

And, my personal favorite:

Skitter: "Love is a battleship."
Baum: "Um, battlefield. Love is a battlefield."
Skitter: "Oh. I always thought it was battleship. That would be cool, though."

Okay, so maybe you don't think these are as funny as I do. The point is, every time I read these quotes, I remember exactly what was happening and why they were so darn funny.

My apologies for the long, boring post that doesn't really pertain to you at all. Actually, I don't really care if you don't think these stories are funny. I know the minute Lock, BK and Skitter read these, they'll do just what I'm doing: stare at my computer and laugh.

During the years we lived together - and have known each other - there was more dancing and yelling. There were more crazy quotes. There were first days of school, birthdays and going away parties. There was even a wedding.

Bye, Skitter. We'll miss you.
And, in honor of you, let's party it up.

There were rumbles in the hallway with the girls in the room on the other side of us (no one was hurt, I promise). There was sledding down the stairs in a sleeping bag. There were late night trips to Wal-Mart. There were formals and exchanges and back lot parties.

Pondering life's complexities.

I would love to be this thin again.

She made that Alaska hat famous.

There were snow days, basketball games and football games. There were Grey's Anatomy viewing parties and pranks and general craziness.

Go Illini!

 
Missing man formation.

 
Reunited and it feels so good...

 

 

Our trip to Curtis Orchard.
Rachel couldn't come because she was always
busy with her silly meats judging.

 

 
The University of Illinois cancelled classes for
two days due to a blizzard that rolled through
central Illinois. AWESOME.

 

 
Illinois Football!

Can you say creeper?

Don't ask questions.

It was super fun. And, it still is.

Pardon the interruption.

Sorry, everyone, for another small interruption in our regularly scheduled "Fabulous Foursome" series.

But, this interruption is necessary.

It is important.

It is life-changing (okay, maybe not life-changing, but it's still pretty cool).

If I had more adjectives about how important this is, I would use them here, but I don't.

Click here to watch "J is for Jersey," and to see just how cute my grandparents are.

Do it. Now.

Me and Jen-nay Was Like Peas and Car-rots.

Sorry for the momentary interruption in your regular programming, folks. I had been working on my little "Husbands Say the Darndest Things" post for a few weeks and didn't realize I had set the posting date for Sept. 1 - right in the middle of my "Fabulous Foursome" series.

But, we're back at it now and ready to tackle my best, good friend, Rachel. And, true to the form of my entries about Lock and BK, I'll start with the very first time I met Skitter.

4-H House doesn't rush like normal sororities. Instead, they invite girls to the house to interview the semester before moving in. The weekend I went to interview is the weekend I met Rachel.

Most of the girls there for interviewing weekend were getting ready to go on a campus tour, but, since I had already been on campus a year, it seemed pretty silly for me to go on a campus tour. I decided to go talk to one of the house girls that I already knew to see if it would be okay for me to sit the tour out. When I walked into her room, Rachel was sitting on the bed, getting ready for the tour.

My friend introduced us, to which I said, "Hi, Rachel. Nice name." She replied with, "You, too."

Obviously, we were fated to be best friends.

That next semester, when we moved into the house, we probably chatted at house events, but we really didn't get to know each other well until we had the chance to live together. The first eight weeks I lived at the house, my roommate was a girl from my pledge class and we were assigned to live together. But, the second eight weeks, I got to pick who from my pledge class I wanted to live with. The only problem was, I wasn't terribly close to anyone in my pledge class.

Then, someone suggested to me I ask Rachel to live with me. After all, we were both older - all of the other girls in our pledge class were freshmen, but Rachel was a junior transfer and I was a sophomore (even though we were the same age). It made sense to me.

I made my plans to find her and ask her if she wanted to live with me for the next eight weeks, but she beat me to it. The next thing I knew, she was in my room, asking me if we could live together, being that we were both old (no, not older. Old.).

I told her I was planning to ask her the same thing. We moved into the same room shortly thereafter, and "The Old, Creepy Rachels" were born. It's not that we were overly old. Or creepy, for that matter. The nickname just seemed to work for us, so we stuck with it.

For the rest of her time at the house, Rach and I lived together - eventually adding Lock and Bethany to the mix.

And, if you met all of us together, you would think that Lock and Bethany are the older ones, for many reasons, including:

1. 
   
   Our shared love of Forrest Gump and the ability to quote the movie frequently - and very loudly - in public places.
2. 
   
   Gangster hand signals (please see above).
3. 
   
   Inappropriate yelling at inappropriate times.
4. 
   
   Requiring Bethany and Jessica pick us up at the bar more times than either of us can count, rather than the "Old, Creepy Rachels" picking Bethany and Jessica up at the bar.
5. 
   
   Other stuff, too. But, hey, this is a family show.

And, that's the story of Rachel and Rachel. Or, Skitter and Baumshell. Or, the Old, Creepy Rachels. Whatever you prefer. Next up: the Fabulous Foursome take over the third floor of 4-H House.

Husbands Say the Darndest Things

A few weeks ago, I decided I needed to do a blog post devoted only to the funny things Scoop says.

It didn't take me too long to get enough material for an entire post. And, because of that, I'm sure we'll be doing regular installments of this.

Scoop: "Sit down and watch Footloose with me!"
Me: "Ehhhh. I don't really feel like it."
Scoop: "You mean, I want to sit down and watch a lame-ass '80s movie and you don't? Go sit outside."

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Me: (While watching a '70s rock informercial - because I'm lame) "Why didn't we grow up in the '70s with all of this great music?"
Scoop: "Because, you would have ended up pregnant. Let's be honest - I'm easy."

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Scoop: "I need to bring another white shirt with me this weekend."
Me: "Why?"
Scoop: "In case we have to f*** someone up and I get blood on this one."

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Editor's note: I don't really know what was happening when this one popped out of his mouth. And, for the record, I don't believe this statement to be true...most of the time.

Scoop: "I'm so dumb I need a helmet."

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Scoop: (While eating at Outback Steakhouse) "Ugh. I'm running out of room."
Me: "Well, honey, don't keep eating if you're going to make yourself miserable. We can take it home with us."
Scoop: "No - I'll be damned if I let them win. It's personal now."

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Me: (While at a wedding) "You can't generalize it that way."
Scoop: "Hey - stop stealing my phrases. That's my phrase."
Me: "Since when is 'You can't generalize it that way' your phrase?"
Scoop: "I just said it eight minutes ago when we were talking about boobs. Remember?"

Editor's note: Sadly, we were talking about boobs at a wedding.

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Me: "Are you getting up to put the rest of your sandwich away?"
Scoop: "No - do I look like a quitter to you? I'm tenacious."

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Me: "Really? We're watching a commercial that groups senior care and child care with pet care?"
Scoop: "It makes sense. You're still cleaning up shit, regardless."

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Scoop: "I have a sneaking suspicion our kid is going to be the naked kid. Like, 'Hey - where the hell are your underwear?'"

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Me: (While driving home for Brandon and Becky's wedding...) "Ugh. I've been trying to very gradually pass this cop car and I just can't get it done - he keeps speeding up. I guess I'll just tuck back in behind him."
Scoop: "Sorry, dude."
Me: (A few minutes later) "Hmm. I guess that guy is going to try passing that cop now."
Scoop: "Yep."
Me: (A few more minutes later) "Look at that. That guy that was trying to pass that cop just dropped back, too, because the cop sped up again. I think he enjoys it."
Scoop: "Huh?"
Me: "The cop. He waits for someone to get right up next to him and try to pass him, then he speeds up to see if you have the balls to pass him. I think he enjoys that. I know I would - if I were a cop."
Scoop: "You would. You're a sadistic bastard."

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Do you smell something burning?

Bethany and I

Sorry, kids. Work has been pretty hairy the last couple of weeks and I just haven't been able to convince myself to sit down and write a blog entry when I get home. I've stayed at the office late most days to finish up some hot projects and, once I get home, it's been much easier to convince myself I need to sit down on the couch and watch pointless TV. And, hey, who am I to argue with myself. Arguing is just rude.

Anyway, on to Bethany - or BK as we like to call her.

Unlike Lock, I remember the first time I met BK. We had just moved into 4-H House and we, as the new pledge class, were set to cleaning the dorms. Because that's what the new kids do (we can talk about my contempt for this in another blog SERIES).

Anyway, I can't remember if she and I were cleaning the same dorm or seperate ones, but either way, as we're cleaning, I hear someone say, "Do you guys smell smoke? Something smells like it's burning." When I looked up, there was Bethany. She was short (hey, to me - Amazon Woman - everyone is short), had brown hair and, at first, seemed shy.

After taking a quick poll, most of us did smell smoke and did some investigating.

Apparently, an electrical outlet in one of the dorms was smoking. Something had shorted out and this thing was on fire. Yep, our first day in the house, not only did we clean the dorms, we also worked on our fire preparedness and met the fire department (firefighters...yummy).

After that, BK and I chatted at house functions, but it was a while before we really became good friends - and a while before the Fabulous Foursome made an appearance.

But, once the Fabulous Foursome really came into its own, I realized some of my initial impressions of Bethany were totally wrong. For instance:

• This kid isn't shy.
• Just like Lock, some of the funniest things pop out of her mouth - things you totally wouldn't expect. More on this in a later post.
• She's a genius (okay, that initial impression wasn't wrong. I pretty much had her pegged as a smart kid from the get-go).
• She's strong - and I'm not talking about muscles, here.

This kid sure is a lot of fun.

Okay, Rach. You're the last piece of the puzzle. And, I have the most dirt on you, so get ready.

Lock.

So, here's the thing. I love Jessica Lock. I mean I really, really love this kid. During the past few years, we've spent all kinds of time together. She was in our wedding, for Heaven's sake.

But, even after all of that, I honestly can't remember the very first time I met this crazy, quirky lady. I remember when I first met Rachel and Bethany, but I just can't pinpoint that first time I encountered Lock (and trust me - with Jessica Lock, "encounter" really is the perfect word). Rather, it was like all of the sudden she was there and she had always been there.

And, once she was firmly established in my circle of friends, I couldn't think of a single reason to kick her out. In all seriousness, though, Jessica is a remarkable person and role model - it's pretty hard not to love her. Here's why:

• She's hilarious (I wanted to save the proof provided here for another post, but I just couldn't help myself). One night, on the way home from Wal-Mart, the four of us were having a conversation about boys. Rachel mentioned she thought she might just decide to go make some bad decisions. I told Rachel she should just make bad decisions with food and not boys, to which Jessica replied, "Yeah. I bet if you're fat you're not a slut. Well, I guess fat people could be sluts. Slutty fat people."
• She's a smart cookie. She and Bethany carried our room GPA for a few semesters.
• She's patient, as evidenced by the fact that she's an early childhood education teacher. To me, that job sounds like a death sentence.
• She's loyal. Hey, she's stuck with me for several years now and that takes perseverance.
• She's firm. As in, she always thinks before she speaks and always stands up for her convictions. 
• She's lots of other things, too. 

Like I said. I love this kid.

Bethany, prepare yourself. You're next.

Jessica Lock is My Hero.

After soliciting blog ideas for the past several weeks - thanks a lot for all of the help, guys (I hope you can feel the sarcasm resonating with each of you) - my good buddy Jessica Lock finally pulled through with an excellent idea.

"Remember when you asked for blog ideas? Well, I have one for you. Memories of living in rooms 11 and 12. Because I'll never be able to watch or hear about Forrest Gump without thinking of you and Rachel naming my car Jenny and talking only in movie lines all the way to Walmart . . . . and home."

So, there it is kids. The next few posts are going to be devoted to my adorable 4-H House roommates and the crazy things we did while we lived together. And, don't worry, there is material a plenty for these next few posts. Luckily for me, I hold the list of memorable room quotes and have a stunning memory (ok, well, at least that first part is true).

Bethany, Jessica and Rachel are the reasons I survived college and a couple of years at 4-H House. Alone, their personalities are so different, but as a group, we complimented each other and became the "Fabulous Foursome at 4-House."

I think it would be fun to kick things off by remembering (or at least trying to) how I met each of them. Given that this was Lock's idea, we'll pick on talk about her first.

Get ready. I have some pretty great stories.

What I Like About Nebraska

Welcome to North Central Nebraska...

And the Sandhills of Nebraska.

True to it's name, there are a lot of hills...

But, otherwise, it's pretty quiet.

Some might say desolate.

Most of the time, you don't see a soul out here.

Well, except for her.

And them.

And them.