Without you...

...I'm a drift.

Now, before you go and yell at me for incorrectly spelling the word 'adrift,' you need to know why I spelled it that way.

I have a coffee cup. It's blue and it has a snowman on the front of it, with the words "Without you" on the outside lip. On the inside lip, it says, "I'm a drift."

Cheesy? Yes. True? Absolutely. I got it for David for Christmas one year, but I don't think I ever really took the phrase seriously (disregarding all the cheesiness of it can be difficult).

Tonight, I sat down on my couch with my favorite snowman coffee cup in my hands (full of delicious hot chocolate) and watched P.S. I Love You. I've seen the movie several times - in fact, after just watching it once, I had to go out and buy it. Well, actually, I requested it for Christmas (thanks to my wonderful husband it is now included in our ever-expanding DVD library). David won't watch it with me because he says it's too sad, but I still have to watch it every once in a while - even though I cry every time I watch it.

For those of you that haven't seen the movie, here's the story line:

A young couple live in New York City. They're madly in love (yes, I know we're still in cheesy territory). However, the husband dies, forcing the wife to cope with his death. Over the course of the year following his death, he arranges for letters he wrote to be delivered to her - letters that help her to move on and do things she would normally be too afraid to do.

So, the question remains: why would I put myself through this emotional torture? Because, the movie speaks to me. It reminds me of my own family and my Dad. And, it helps put my mom's life in perspective for me.

So many times, I think about how the loss of my Dad affects my sister and I. No father there for graduations, weddings and babies - the milestones. And, I'm sure my Mom thought of it in those terms, too. But, it was more than that for her - she lost a companion, friend and a piece of her soul. That piece can't be replaced by re-marrying. Of course, her new husband is wonderful and has made her so happy, but that piece that was my Dad will always be missing. Over the years it may change, but it will always be missing.

Now that I'm married, I think I understand that more than ever before. So many things about my Mom in the months after Dad died make sense.

Yes - I'm getting to the point. The point is, I'm adrift without him - or, I was for a long time. But, when David and I started dating, he helped to pull me out of my funk. I know that without David, it would be worse. So, tonight, I'm going to make sure I thank God for all of the wonderful blessings He has given me and try not to take them for granted (like I sometimes tend to do).

Are you impressed? You should be. Only a very special person (well, maybe just someone a few fries short of a Happy Meal) could get all of that out of one very sappy, chick-flick movie. But, hey, what can I say? I'm special.

With that, I'm going to sign off for tonight, promising to write again on a more frequent basis (just for you, Aunt Cheryl - I know you're the only one that reads this anyway), and leave you with this thought:

Life doesn't always turn out the way we planned, but sometimes it's the unplanned events that make life richer - harder, yes - but always richer.